Friends and Life and STUFF

Yeah so I don't really know what I'm going to say here except I fear, dear readers, that you are about to meet a Mooney stream of consciousness. For some people this may be a first - others of you are already raising those baby blues to the skies....

So things are weird. I love it here. Really, its cool and I LOVE being in different places. However, this little love of mine means that I'm away from people I love a lot. I've never really felt "at home" since I left home at 18 to go to Uni. And mum, when you read this, I don't mean that I don't feel at home in Enniskillen, because I do when I'm there - how could I not, with you and grizzly and the TEENAGER and anne and the ever amazing wishbone...but its weird. Since I left home, my accent has never been quite right, or I've lived on a different island to my parents, or SOMETHING - you know? And I'm wondering when it's all going to come together and I'm going to live near the family and CLOSE to my friends and just feel like I fit. Somewhere.

I feel really really old sometimes: like I'm supposed to have done SO much already by this age..I think I work in an industry that favours the young and I'm getting past it very very quickly. Other times I feel really young and inexperienced in a lot of life stuff that I should really have gotten to grips with by now...but don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to say that everyone doesn't feel like that most/ some/ all? of the time too...Believe me, I know I'm not special in that regard! But I do wish I was five years younger sometimes!!

I think that the point of this is to say that I miss you lot loads. Sometimes I'm not forthcoming with that kind of information, but I have to be independent and I have to get on with it all and try and make new friends and the best of wherever I happen to be otherwise I'd be a complete mess and I do think one of (the only?!?) my better qualities is that I can (superficially at least) fit in and make new friends and get on with stuff wherever I find myself, but that's because if I let myself think about the brilliant people in my life who I love who aren't around me all of the time I think I would have a breakdown!!! I have people who I count as friends of mine in Enniskillen, London, Haywards Heath, Essex, Toronto, Charleston, Sydney, the Philippines, RANDOM parts of South America and potentially Calgary. Which is both fantastic and irritating.

When does it all come together?