a bit sad

That's what I was today....not for long though. It was a bit of a shock to the system to be honest. I've been through periods of my life where I feel like I've been sad an awful lot, although thankfuly not recently. I don't know what brought it on. Well, maybe I do a bit. My problem is that I sometime have too many ideas...all of which have merit, but I can't focus on just the one and then end up getting in a funk because I can't do it all and then end up doing none of them!! Which is ridiculous. But true.

So how do I fix it?? Focus. I need focus. And I also need to get some of my self-belief back. I used to think that I could do anything, but now it seems like I need some affirmation from someone else. Which shouldn't really be the case. I should be capable of making life decisions, sticking to them and not being afraid to tell people when I've DONE something instead of talking great ideas to death...and ultimately talking myself out of them. I've done some things in the past (including coming to Canada) like that, where not everyone was supportive, but I knew it was the right thing for me. And I knew I could do it and make a success of it. I need to apply that belief to all parts of my life.

I'm also not very happy at all about my upcoming birthday. Which I need to get past....and SOON!! I think I've become aware of this a lot more accutely recently...so maybe that's step one?

Argh!! I've just realised this whole post has been about me thinking about things that probably don't need to be thunked about. Sheesh...

Suffice it to say I've got lots of ideas floating around in my head now for my next step...some of them a lot more crazy (and interesting) than others. So I think I might just try and surprise you lot sometime soon. And I think I believe I can. That's the best I can do for now!!